This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
