he puts the penis in happiness.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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