areolas are like halos for boobs.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
how drunk are you?
Several
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
