I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
