problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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