we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
