Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
