One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My hand turned me down
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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