nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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