Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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