ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
