I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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