oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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