Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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