we're chasing vodka with high fives
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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