Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
