I want to stick my p in your. b.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
