You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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