Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
