I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Even my vagina gasped.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
