Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
