Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
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I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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