I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
