everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I just blew my weed a kiss
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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