Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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