so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
