Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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