Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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