How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
