Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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