I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
