Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
