like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
