Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
