My friends, they love my intelligence
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
