Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
