smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
