She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
