Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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