She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
