I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
