dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
