That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
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