I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So many bounce houses so little time
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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