if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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