Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
