Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
