I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
