I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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