so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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