I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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